By: anna

anna — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 17:56:18 +0000

M anna..i had been thru a break up…it happened 4 months ago..i ws havin a 5 yrs of relation…my bf asked me for space.cz things were gettin really iritating for him.n he wsnt in a situation 2 tackle evrythin..so he needed sm tym 2 calm down n ws givin some tym 2 r relation…they wer iritatin for me too..bt i nver kept “space” as d option 2 get rid of all dat…it ws really hard for me 2 accept d fact dat by Bf needs sm space frm me…bt sm how I managed 2 undrstnd dat..bt at d same tym he said dat v are frens..i ws so damn confused den i asked him to stick to d word “space”..bt wt do u mean by we being frens??..he said dat v vil b frens for a certain period of tym.i asked for how mch tym do u need space..he woys use 2 say “i dont know”..how do I know hw mch space I require..bt he said dat he will call me on his own.i really felt he ws genuine…dose wer actually d last days w wer communicating(4 months ago) bt in a very bad way cz he got so pissed of frm dis relation n moreover he wsnt able 2 clear his graduation frm d past 2 yrs..like his degree shud hav been completed in 4 yrs..bt nw its bin 6 yrs hesnt able 2 clear his exam..n dis has made him so negative in lyf..n he hs lost all his confidence upon himself…n his parents oso dnt give him d moral support he always luks 4..dey owys use 2 curse him…bt at d same tym..he wsnt makin ne possible efforts on his own 2 get his lyf on a straight track..he had dat 1 thot in his mind dat no company will provide him wid a job unless he has his degree..so he ws jst focusin on clearin his degree 1st n den searchin 4 a job…i ws d 1 who use to tell him 2 use internet for sm studyin purposes 4 his interviews rather dan jst 4 chattin n downlaoding stuff..bt he never studied..i use 2 boost up his confidence dat evrythin wil b fine..dont worry..m always wid u..i ws tellin him 2 hav patience dat hel b gettin d job an all…I use 2 tel him 2 join some Gym..cz doin sum physical activity wil surely boost his confidence..den he use 2 say..”okie fine il go”..he use keep pendin thins evrytym…..i tol him 2 try givin some interviews in companies..2 jst c wt a company demands..jst 4 d sake of an experience..bt he never did..he ws jst focusin dat 1st his degree shud get clear n den hel c wt to do…dis entire scenario ws goin on for 2 yrs…he totally became frstated…bt i ws till dere wid him…supporting him….
bt….
now luk evry relation goes thru bad tyms n gud tyms..n u shud b able 2 face d bad tyms…in d last 1 month i observed lil changes..he ws getin v mch upset from r argues due to tiny tiny lil isues…i felt dats genuine cz he ws already iritated frm his lyf..den his family,being unemployed,no degree . he use 2 ignore all r argues..all are serious conversations coz dey wer destroyin his mental peace…in dose days 1 of his cousins came 2 stay wid him for few days…my bf use 2 stay alone…he ws a paying guest n i truly belev dat a person becums very frstated if he stays alone doin nthn in his lyf…n he is a man afterall…it use 2 hurt his ego i feel.n dat tym i ws d only person who ws givin him moral support n all…I use 2 meet him after evry 2 3 days so dat he doesn’t feel more frstated of bein alone n sitin idle in his room….in dose days even I ws sufferin frm a mental pressure…cz my mother is a heart patient n her sugery ws to b decided…bt she ws getin scared if smthin happens 2 her..even I ws scared..after all shes my mother..n he knew abt dis news…he ws dere 2 support me owys..bt I dnt kw in d last month…he ws showin less concern abt evrythin..mat b he ws tired of evrythin….i really dnt kw..
I am persuing post grad…n he use 2 feel offended dat hes not even a graduate….i use 2 feel bad..bt i ws still dere 4 him..i never left him..even I ws in stress dose days..even he use 2 commit mistakes in r fights…I wsnt d only 1 2 commit dem..i ws observin dat my BF is becoming so negative is his lyf..wt wud happen in future.bt I still stood by his syd…bt aftrall m a human being..hes negativity ws effecting me..bt I kept being patient n ws wid him…cz i knew very well….dats its only my responsility dat if i love him..den i shud b wid him in dis worse situation of his…
bt wen his cousin came i observed dat hes kinda ignorin me…ws nt meetin me..he use 2 meet me if i use 2 insist..he ws really happy wid his cousin..he use 2 cal me in between 2 cover d gap which he ws oso feelin..bt he said dat hes nt able 2 meet me..cz hes busy..so dats y hes callin me 2 jst make an effort 2 cover d gap….i use 2 feel nice..bt i use 2 miss him 2 d extent of cryin evryday…n wntd 2 c him badly.i use 2 insist him again n again dat plz y cnt u meet me..he became so addicted 2 me..n he n my mum r d closest 2 me.n he knew dat..i needed him v badly..dose wer d worst days of my lyf…cz my mothers surgery shook me..n I baldy needed him..n he wsnt dere..bt slowly slowly he ws getin piised off from my tears..he use 2 say dats hes tired of dis relation..n wana have dat “single feel”..it shooked me..i cried in frnt of him..he again got pissed off…in d end he got literally fucked up from d talks dat wer regarding to r relation….he started ignorin my calls..n ws happy wid his cousin n his facebook frens….he started chattin frequently 2 divert his attention frm me..he ws doin dose little thins frm whr he gets calmness n happiness….he ws runnin for his happiness…..
he use 2 say dat he ws ordy getin fucked frm all syds in his lyf n nw dis relation ws oso stressin him a lot..so he wntd sm peace in his lyf..he said he didnt wnt 2 break up..bt jst wants sm space…bt it ws only me he was nt tokin 2..he ws tokin 2 his FB frens evryday….so d prob ws me actaully…I really dnt understand y had he sidelined me..initailly he use 2 say dat he wnts space n he will b tokin 2 me when hel start earnin….i said Okie dats fine…he said hel cal me 2 wish me on X-mas n new yeas,,bt he didnt..i cald him on X-mas..i asked him “y cudnt u cal?’…he said if v have decided not 2 tok 2 each odr..den y wishin even on X-mas…i aksed him r v goin 2 b as frens forever..he said .”I dnt know”
den i started commitin some mistakes wen he asked for d space…he tol me not 2 cal him unless he calls me on his own..bt i use 2 cal him after evry 5 or 10 days..bt dere wer some solid reasons dat wer makin me cal…he never listened 2 y i ws callin..as soon as he use 2 pick up my cal..he use 2 say dat hes busy n cnt tok…i wsnt able 2 digest d entire thin..his voice ws like an oxygen for me at dat point of tym..i called him again n again..use 2 text him..nt evryday..bt did a long 1 on new year…he didnt wished me..3 4 times v had really bad fights on phone regardin dis whole “space thin”..bt he use 2 say dat if i giv him space dat he wants den surely evrythin wil b fine..bt at d same time he told my mother that if she finds a suitable guy 4 me..she shud convince me 2 marry dat guy..i mean wt ws dat??…i ws goin so mad from his introvert replies….how cn my Bf say dis ??….initally he said dat v r frens..i digested dat sm how..n nw he convinced my mother 2 find a guy 4 me?? wtf ws dat?
now wt do u think arn’t dese d reasons dat shud hv made me call him again n again.i wntd 2 giv him his space..bt I cudnt hadle his twisted replies…i ws completely losing trst in him..wnevr he use 2 say sch thins..i ws still understndin him.cz I didn’t wnt 2 loose him..though I ws highly insecured.bt how cn i undrstnd dis thin about finding a guy 4 me?..in between he oso use 2 say..dat we will c wt happens in d future..n he will decide on his own whether he wnts 2 cum back 2 dis relation or nt..so he made me realize dat d decision wil b entirely his ..i ws so helpless n he ws treatin me like a show piece..everytym i use 2 cal him n cry n pleed..he use 2 get pissed off….one day i ws getin some thots of commitin suicide..i called him immediatetly n tol dis 2 him…he said “he cant do anythin nw ” den he said dont wory i have jst asked for some time n den evrythin wil b fine…
after dat day i never called him…bt it turned out all ugly n nasty…dis happend for almost 2 months aftr when he asked for d space thing…after dese 2 months i never called…
i nevr realized dat by doin dese this m nt helpin my self bt givin him more reasons of not cumin back….bt i ws hepless at dat time…
aftr two months i again called….n again msgd..n asked why he left me..he replied n said dat he asked 4 some space..bt i never gave..i tol him 2 luk at d reasons dat made me cal him again n again..nw its been 4 months n hes really iritated of me n messaged me “its all over”..i mean he does nt even wants 2 meet me..i m askin him from d past 3 months dat i wana c him 4 d last time..i tol him dat v shud meet 4 1 last time if v respect our gud times spent together…hes again n again makin excuses so dat he doesnt c me..he doesnt want to meet me….den ystrday v hd a really big fight..i bursted upon him n warned him dat il spoil u if u dnt meet me….he said dat he wil meet wenver he will feel like meetin me..i mean hes not even respectin me n our gud times…dat atleast for once..i shud confront my Ex gf..if shes beggin so mch 4 1 last meetin..bes hes jst ignorin n ignorin..n moreover hes constantly lying from d past 3 months dat hes nt in d city…bt i came 2 know from some 1 dat he in d city..hes jst ignorin me n does nt want 2 meet me….i dont know y??????????..i mean if hes really ended up evrythn den y cnt he meet n dat too 4 d last time..den hel b free….
nw he is ready 2 meet me nw cz i ws beggin him ‘N’ no of times..bt he didnt had dis mch courtesy dat he shud b meetin me on his won…
so nw in few days well will b meetin…..i wana have all d answers…now hes telin me dat i never gave him space dats y he decided 2 brake off…bt he doesnt want 2 luk at d misunderstndins..lack of communication….he doesnt want 2 understnd nethn nw..he says dat hes over wid it nw..n wana forget evrythin…he says dat he loves me..bt wants 2 b alone…jst for calmness….
now please can u tel me..how genuine do u feel he really can be…M I d 1 who made d situation even more worse by callin him again n again n not keepin patience until he calls me on his own…
d worst part is dat hes endin up evrythin by textin me..he cnt even meet me…n he says dat he did dis coz he wantd some peace in his life..n n hes happy widout me…bt he loves me…bt wana b alone…i tried 2 make him understnd dat please tok 2 me once..he said “leave me alone”…at dis point of time hes greedy for his freedon n happiness…bt smtyms I feel is dere any girl?? I dnt kw confused
bt nw dat he has agreed upon meetin…..wt shud i say 2 him?? how shud i react
i know i had made blunders by not givin him his twisted answers lost all my trst for him….bt i really love him n want him back…..is dere still anythin dat i can do??/
please help……..
its beein 4 months nw..m kinda loosing hopes…bt can u giv some advices….

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By: anna